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We had a lot of fun putting this interview together and would like to thank everyone who got involved! To crack the secret code of attraction you have to start by learning from your mistakes.
So we asked the dating experts this question:. What do you think are the 3 biggest attraction killers that men are guilty of making?
You can either jump to your favourite dating expert using these quick links below or commence scrolling! Wendy Walsh , Ellen T. In my opinion, the 3 biggest attraction killers that men are guilty of making:.
Bragging too much and not being a good listener. Many times men try to impress too much by talking about themselves and bragging, sometimes even exaggerating the truth to impress the woman.
Listen to what a woman says, ask her questions, be interested in what she has to say because it is firstly about her and secondly about you when you initially meet.
Not making eye contact. Your goal is to make a connection with the woman and that is done through eye contact and uninterrupted attention. Anything else feels dis-ingenuous.
Do not make sexual innuendos. You are trying to develop trust and this immediately ruins it. A woman wants to feel special and not like a piece of meat.
Say something complimentary about her hair, her outfit, her shoes or offer to buy her a drink. She is an entrepreneur and founder of WomanSavers.
Alexander can help you improve your odds in finding Mr. Right or improve the relationship you already have.
If you prefer video learning we recommend this video:. He talks about nothing but himself. I would cite this as the number one complaint women make.
For some women, aftershave can send certain messages or have certain associations that are unpleasant. For instance, if a guy is wearing any kind of Calvin Klein cologne, count me out.
He seems to not really be interested in her, the person, but is clearly interested in getting laid. Back in my dating days I had highly developed sensors whereby I could detect whether a man actually really liked me or was just interested in a sexual diversion.
The number 1 way a man can build attraction is to LISTEN — to ask a woman questions and to be sincerely interested in her answers. Many men most, in fact have trouble with this.
However, I have known dog ugly men who succeed with women on a grand scale by listening. A man who likes to listen to a woman loves women in general, and this is a BIG turn on.
After realising she was a siren at the age of 17, Ellen T. White has made it her mission to teach women how to unleash the power of this famous seducer.
Ellen made a systematic study of the sirens among her family, friends, and the seductive women of history and unearthed the secrets to the sirens success in her famous book Simply Irresistible.
He touches her too quickly or inappropriately before they develop a real rapport. A man who can listen well is a big turn-on for many women.
Her goal as a coach is to help smart, savvy, professional women of all career backgrounds build and shape their love stories using the entrepreneurial spirit, mindset, and approach.
Neely has been featured in numerous media outlets, and is the author of Skin In the Game: Talking too much about themselves. Certainly this works for women as well — but being capable of conversing is definitely a then on.
Checking out every other girl that walks by. I get that we are the dad generation but focus for at least the time a girl is standing in front of you.
Too quickly asking for a number. Ask questions and be genuinely interested and focused on the girl you are speaking to.
Concentrate on conversing and being present while you are with her. Jen Friel founded Talk Nerdy To Me Lover a blog which examines the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world.
Jen is a corporate sponsored minimalist and spent the last year urban camping, living with readers of her site and documenting her adventures in social media.
That being said, you asked a very open-ended question. Women are turned on by men who are into THEM and who show that they genuinely will listen and share a conversation.
No woman wants to hear about the one who came before her. And no woman wants to be the rebound relationship.
Men who are crude, who curse, who are too physical hands, hands, hands , who say un classy things about women and who generally act like animals.
No way, No how. Alison Blackman Dunham aka. She has built her reputation offering readers a unique perspective on life, in print, in person and through the camera lens.
They check out other woman while talking to their date. Sloppy manners and clothes. Image is everything, especially with first impressions.
Be polite and be a gentleman. Take time to iron and pick out some stylish clothes before heading out. Women love a man who knows how to dress nice.
I have been hit on countless times by drunk men that smell like they took a bath in the liquor store. The slurred speech, clumsy wild behaviour and bad liquor breath are all major turn offs.
You have a better chance if you are real and open about who you are. Amanda is also the founder and co-owner of The Dating Stylist, a dating consultancy firm and the coordinator for an international matchmaking firm.
She has been featured or quoted in numerous media outlets and launched the Dating Boutique Inc. This is usually due not to self-absorption, but to nervousness or a desire to impress.
Get her talking too, and find common ground to connect on. Perhaps you both love dogs or both really want to see Italy. Some men, in a desire to avoid 1, ask too many questions or seem almost too interested.
Ask questions, let her answer, and then offer your own opinion or thoughts to balance the conversation. Bringing up risky topics. There are plenty of topics that are useful when you get to know someone a little, but are off-limits in early interactions.
The same goes for negativity about any topic. Christie Hartman is an internationally recognized dating expert, behavioral scientist, and author of five dating advice books.
A recovering academic and closeted nerd, Christie has refocused her overactive, analytical mind on unraveling the scientific and psychological mysteries behind dating and attraction.
Catering to both men and women, she deconstructs all that is baffling about dating and makes it easily digestible to singles.
Talking and not listening. He starts bragging about well anything. When a guy goes on and on about his job, vehicles, stuff and hobbies and frames them all in terms of miraculous feats, it gets old really fast.
I suspect guys do this to impress, but really what it really does is bring your insecurities front and center and then we just feel sorry for you.
He walks up to you and instantly puts his hand on your back, your knee or your whatever. Read the signs guys and respect her space.
When you approach a woman and start talking, be present and actually engaged in the exchange. Speak, ask, listen and repeat. What is in your heart is more important than what is in your driveway.
If you really want to impress and keep her attracted stop bragging and start sharing. Pay attention to body language and read the signs.
Let her take the lead physically. If she is leaning into you then it might be appropriate to get a bit more physical. Cija Black is a love and relationship expert, author, blogger, online educator and co-host of Love Bombs a weekly podcast about maintaining healthy relationships.
Cija is the author of Modern Love: The woman in front of you wants to feel as if you have no one else on your mind other than her. They do not have an equal conversation.
In other words, the man talks about himself too much. A good rule of thumb when you first meet a woman is to never talk longer than a minute before letting her respond but definitely aim for less!
Plus both situations say he talks that way to everyone. A man can build attraction through sincerity. Women also love men who act with class.
Vanessa Taylor, author of Text. She coaches single women on dating and relationships. Be generous and kind to others with your words and your actions — it goes a long way.
Looking around the room at other women. When a woman is on a date, she likes to feel the man is paying attention when she says something.
Ask questions, and really listen to her answers. If you want a woman to feel attracted to you, then give her something to go on! Kelly Seal is a writer, online dating expert, and former speed-dating host.
She is a columnist for Examiner. He was doing a monologue, bragging about himself, and rather than impressing her, which was likely his intent, he came across to her as an egocentric narcissist who lacks the ability to be sensitive, communicative, supportive and loving.
He should have made sure the conversation was flowing back and forth between the two of them, and he should have demonstrated a sincere interest in who she is and what makes HER tick.
He gave off an overtly sexual vibe. Women want to be respected, valued, appreciated and cherished, as much more than merely sex objects to men.
Women who are truly seeking relationship typically know to avoid and shun this Lounge Lizard type of guy. Gentlemen always have a distinct advantage in dating.
He forgot to be present. As a dating coach, media personality, professional speaker, dating industry consultant and events producer, her mission is to dignify and simplify the love search process for selective, relationship-minded professionals.
Getting wildly drunk in under 60 minutes. Many a night I have walked into a bar with a priest and a rabbi of course , saw some handsome young lad a few bar stools down, locked eyes, smiled, and struck up a charming conversation.
Then the bar gets more crowded, and I lose track of said lad. Suddenly I spot him an hour later…with his pants off…urinating on the pool table.
Or get thee to an AA meeting. A Jesus freak, a Tony Robbins freak or a paleo-diet freak. Hold on, just a sec—oh yeah: And yes, both men AND women are guilty of this!
Ariel is the Co-founder of KenAndAriel. Sometimes there is nothing a man did wrong. He could have looked like her ex or smelled like her brother or caught her on a night when a higher status man was near.
The important thing is that a man should not take it personally and move on. The main behavior that makes women lose interest is to appear too eager or needy.
Imagine that hot women are all around you and interested. Just be kind and casual. How can men build attraction, rather than kill it?
Focus on her brain instead. Approach a seven instead. Each week on CNN, she breaks down the psychology of sex, love, gender roles, divorce, parenting and other human behaviours.
She is the resident expert at DatingAdvice. Talking about themselves too much — It might sound silly, but being self-absorbed is a huge turn off for me.
Once the connection is built, waiting to make a move and letting the spark go flat. Pay attention, pay attention, pay attention. If you stay present and keep your exquisite attention on her, she will tell you everything you need to know or say.
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